Well, That Escalated Quickly
by Koohii Kappu
Summary: What happens when Doctor Who's scariest villains end up playing children's games? A crack!fic for my own amusement XD Hope you enjoy! Please review!


**Author's Note: Heyyyy! This idea was inspired by a drawing I saw of some Weeping Angels playing Red Light, Green Light . . . I just had to write a fic for it XD I hope you enjoy! ^^**

 **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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"Ladies and gentleman . . . and variations thereupon . . . welcome to the annual Intergalactic Games! The planet of choice for this years game set is Earth, which harbors a wide range of new games, seeing as the residence are fun-loving and quite gluttonous when it comes to personal pleasure. We've collected the most popular children's games that we're sure you'll enjoy, so please stick around!"

D'rae turned off the microphone and tilted it away, turning to look at his partner as the crowd roared down below.

"I heard we've got some new contestants this year," he said.

His partner, Barrikumma, nodded.

"Yeah. They seem to have quite a rep."

"Are you sure it's a good idea? You never know what these guys could be capable of. What if it's not safe?"

"You worry too much!" Barrikumma laughed and slapped his hand roughly on D'rae's shoulder. "Just say what's on the paper and forget about your troubles, eh?"

D'rae sighed. "If you say so . . ." Flipping the microphone's switch and turning the light from red to green, he continued on with the announcement.

"Starting us off will be a good game of Freeze Tag! The goal of the game is to avoid being touched for a full five minutes or more by the person who is "it". If you are touched, then you're "frozen", and you can't move until someone on the opposite team tags you again. The team who is "it" has to freeze everyone else before the time runs out in order to win! Speaking of the players, I think they're coming in now!"

A group of about twenty beings jogged into the stadium, waving to the roaring crowd. There were all different races and genders - all the usual folk. Something caught D'rae's eye and he leaned forward, brow furrowing.

"Hey Barrikumma, is that a child?"

"What? Oh, yeah," Barrikumma grunted. "He's one of the new guys."

"What's his name?"

"He didn't say, he just kept asking for his mom. But whatever, I'm sure he'll be fine."

D'rae raised one eyebrow but didn't say anything else. He watched as the game began. Everyone bolted and zigzagged across the field, hopping over boxes and crates for protection. D'rae kept a close eye on the kid, making sure he wasn't going to get trampled.

At first, the kid just stood there - D'rae wished he'd take off the mask he was wearing so he could tell if the kid was alright or not. After a few minutes of wandering around the field and tapping people, D'rae started to notice something strange going on . . .

"Do you see that guy over there? It's acting kinda weird, like he's going to throw u- Gahhhh! That is disgusting!" he yelped, turning off the microphone quickly.

"I admit that was a little . . . disturbing," Barrikumma said. "Wait - do y'see those dolls?"

And before he knew it, there was an all out war between the two teams - all the contestants were either quickly either turned into dolls or throwing up those strange masks. Every time someone touched another player they changed teams faster than D'rae could blink.

"What do we do?" he said, clearly beginning to panic.

"Just change the game, change the game!"

"Right, right!" D'rae turned the microphone on and quickly moved on to a new game, finally starting to relax a little as he watched the contestants shuffle out.

"Okay, so the next game is Red Light, Green Light," Barrikumma said. "Hopefully this will go better . . ."

It didn't. The second the person who was "it" turned his back, the angel statues - who had somehow appeared without anyone noticing - touched him and he vanished with a scream.

"Okay, okay, enough of that," Barrikumma said, reaching for the microphone button. "New game, everyone! We're going to tone it down with a nice, calm board game called Risk, except this time we'll do it live action-"

"We will destroy you dirty scum!" shouted a group of potatoes as the jogged into the stadium with actual guns. D'rae face palmed as they started up a war chant. They were soon followed by a group of giant salt shakers that flew into the stadium screaming, "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" and a bunch of metal men weren't far behind.

"Alright, no Risk then." Barrikumma started tossing papers around, searching for an innocent, not life-threatening game for them to play -

"Aha! I've got it!" he shouted, switching the mic back on again.

"We're going to move on to an eating competition!"

Just then a knock sounded at the door and one of the assistants poked his head in.

"Um, actually, we can't do that. All the food has vanished. Something about the shadows or something? I dunno, maybe it was too dark to cook."

D'rae groaned and put his head down between his knees.

"Is there any game we can play without something going terribly wrong?!" Barrikumma shouted, forgetting to turn the microphone off. The stadium went dead silent. Realizing his mistake, Barrikumma cleared his throat and tried to laugh it off.

"Get a different, SAFE game going," he hissed at D'rae under his breath. D'rae nodded and searched for something, _anything_ they could play . . .

"How about the quiet game?" D'rae whispered.

"Sure, sure, whatever, just do something!"

D'rae turned on the mic and opened his mouth, paused, laughed nervously, then said, "It's really funny . . . I completely forgot what I was going to say . . ."

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 **Like how I left it off? It's kinda abrupt but it just felt right. XD Please review and let me know what you think! ^^**


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